You're the only one that can make me smile
by i-am-unicornBS
Summary: You were always the only one who could make me smile. Inspired by 4x09 promo. Brittana endgame one-shot.


**I was inspired to write this because of the little snippet from the 4x09 promo of Bram, which, along with most of the other brittana shippers, weren't too fond of. So here's my little one shot which came to my head while watching that promo.**

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**You're the only one that can make me smile**

Why won't you just understand that I need you here with me? I need you here all of the time. But even if you can't be here every day, the least you could have done was not leave me. I had you less and less as the days went by, I didn't need to not have you at all. I love you, I always have loved you and I always will love you. You are the love of my life, and we need each other to function baby, why can't you just understand that? Is it because _you_ don't love _me_, did you realise I wasn't ever good enough for you, or did you never truly love me to begin with?

I know you explained to me why we weren't working but your reason never made sense to me. I know I was a mess when you weren't here and when you were I said some things I shouldn't have but I was angry that we were apart and I was scared that you would find someone better than me in Louisville. I couldn't stand the idea of you being with somebody who wasn't me.

Now weeks later, I know we've talked a bit when you came back for the musical but we didn't talk enough and now we don't talk at all. If you can't be with me how I want us to be together than at least just be my best friend again. We can be best friends and eventually we can figure things out because I'm not giving up and I'm not backing down. Remember, I love you.

But as time goes by you keep on coming back and it's making me wonder why we had to break up. I mean with you always here now, we see each other all the time and we could have stuck it out a little longer and we could have fixed everything. So it makes me think a little harder about why you were so stuck on us not working. Maybe I was right, maybe you didn't love me. Maybe I shouldn't be holding on to you when you don't want me anymore. You're too grown up, you're in university and I'm still in high school because I'm too stupid to pass my senior year. I guess you would prefer smarter girls now, right?

Maybe I have to _try_ to move on and try to forget about everything we had together. I need to forget about you and everything you made me feel, not just when we had sweet lady sex but when you would smile at me or look at me like I was the most important person in the world and it made my heart beat out of control and I could feel it all over my body. I need to forget about the way you would always hold my hand and walk me to class, how you would kiss me goodnight after you walked me to my door after our Friday night dates. I need to forget about the butterflies which fluttered in my stomach every time you told me you loved me, or when we first made love and it wasn't just sex to us anymore, it meant something, although it always meant something to me.

I have to forget about how you were always so protective of me when people called me stupid or that I was childish, you would always be right by my side defending me. I need to forget how you were always quite possessive, I know some people think that's a little bit overbearing but I just found it cute, it was like I couldn't even talk to a guy or girl without you sneaking up beside me and grabbing my hand, wrapping your arm around my waist, nuzzling into my neck or kissing me and showing the world that I was yours and you were mine and that they needed to back off.

Maybe I just need to move on because I'm sure you've already started to.

I feel bad about Sam but at the same time I really don't. He said we're best friends but I don't think that's what he wants. I think he wants us to me more, so I feel bad because I think I've led him on. But maybe this could be good for me, he could be my rebound, he could be how I forget about you. He could help me forget about how your touch was the only one that made me feel beautiful and appreciated and loved. Maybe he can make me feel all of that too.

So I did something I shouldn't have. I told him he was the only one who made me smile, but that's not true. Okay, yes he can make me smile but so can Sugar, Blaine, Marley and everybody else. But nobody can make me smile like you could, like you can, and I don't think anybody ever will be able to.

But it's like I couldn't stop there, it's like I needed to go one step further and feel something. I needed to feel a connection and something which will make me latch on to somebody else and finally be able to let go of you.

So I kissed him. I kissed him and I let him kiss me.

I let it continue for a while and guess what I felt? I felt nothing. No zap, no tingly sensation, no fireworks, absolutely nothing. The only thing I could do was compare his lips to yours, his kissing ability to yours, his taste to yours, his _everything_ to you. And nothing felt right because there was nothing, no connection, nothing. It was as if my body was there but I couldn't control it and I couldn't feel anything.

When I pulled away he was smiling down at me like some love sick puppy but I couldn't even smile back at him. So much for him being the only one to make me smile. He was going to kiss me again but I couldn't stick around, I couldn't let him kiss me because I was yours, I am yours.

So I mumbled a quiet, 'I'm sorry' and ran. I ran and I didn't look back.

I had tears on my cheeks and falling into the corners of my mouth as the sobs racked my body. But I didn't stop running. I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself until I was far away from him.

It was as if my brain, my body and my heart were all on different pages. My brain was telling me it wasn't a smart idea to go see somebody who doesn't want me anymore, my heart was telling me it couldn't handle the pain anymore but my body won the battle and was telling me –no leading me to the one place that I felt whole.

Back to you.

Before I knew it I was standing on the doorstep of your parents' house still with tears in my eyes and down my red cheeks, waiting for you to just open the door.

I felt like I was knocking for an eternity before the door swung open. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack if I looked up and you weren't there, so instead I just stood still with my head bowed, eyes clenched shut and hands in tight fists while I let the tears continue to fall.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't look up. It seems like my heart was winning this time. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the hurt I would undoubtedly feel when I saw that you weren't standing in front of me, ready to take me in your arms and calm me down. So I couldn't look. I wouldn't let myself do it.

But I guess I didn't need to because I didn't need to be able to see to know that they were your arms wrapped tightly around my body. It was your fingers running through my tangled hair. It was your lips shushing into my ear. It was your heart beat I could feel against my chest.

Because of that, I knew you still cared. I knew you still felt something, something for me. I knew we were forever. I knew we needed each other more than either of us had ever realised.

I knew you were crying along with me.

You whispered that you loved me. That was the first time in weeks, since you broke up with me, that you had said that. Yet it felt like the first time. I could hear your shaky, uneven breath in my ear but it was calming. It was calming because I knew that you were hurting just as much as I was and this was your declaration of love and it was such an emotional moment that it would be too difficult to hold it all in.

I wanted to tell you I loved you too but I didn't quite get it out in time. Fireworks, tingles and butterflies took over my body. And you. Your essence was all around me. Your hands were resting firmly and comfortably on my hips, pulling me into you while your lips covered my mouth in a kiss so full of love my heart could explode.

I love you, I love you, I love you. I kept repeating it over and over in my head, making sure I had the words ready to say for when our lips would separate. My head felt all dizzy and airy but it felt good, like I could just float away at any second but at same time you kept me grounded and here with you, where I belong.

We stopped kissing eventually and I got to tell you that I loved you too with all my heart. You smiled that dopey, watery smile you always aim at me when something emotional had happened and we'd said we loved each other.

And in that moment I knew we were going to be okay.

Then you suddenly looked at me like you had this brilliant idea and before I knew it, you were telling me to stay right where I was and that you'll be back in a second.

You were right, you were back pretty quickly. You suddenly looked really shy and nervous which was a complete different side to your usual badass, HBIC attitude, but I definitely wasn't complaining. You were holding something behind your back, eventually you must have built up the courage to show me because you held your hand out in front of me and dangling from your wrist was the charm bracelets we brought together in freshman year. You took one from your wrist and asked for my hand. Of course I held it out to you and you clasped it together around my wrist, it was what came next that I wasn't expecting.

You dropped to your knee and looked up at me like you were wearing your heart on your sleeve. You were rambling, I was crying, than you started crying, than we were both just smiling through our tears at one another.

You told me that you didn't want it to be as if you were copying Finn and Rachel with a premature engagement but you made it clear to me that you had wanted this for as long as you could remember. You said that when you had told Rachel that you supported her and Finn's marriage, it was only because you yourself had the same dream; to one day marry me. You told me you already had the perfect ring, that you had brought it last year on valentine's day, that you were planning on giving it to me when the right moment came. You said there were many moments you could have done it but you scared of rejection and scared that I would fall out of love with you. And you told me that you were sure that if any of the couples from the old glee club were to stick it out forever it would be us.

You were right.

We are forever.

I said yes and before I knew it you were pulling a ring from your pocket and slipping it on my finger. I gasped as the diamond which gleamed in the sunlight. I wasn't expecting a ring today, but I definitely wasn't denying that I wanted it now. It was beautiful and you looked beautiful as you stared up at me, giving me that look I was talking about earlier.

Like I was the most important person in the world.

You stood up and just held me in your arms, repeating that you loved me over and over, while I did the same thing to you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

This is where I need to be for the rest of my life, in your arms forever. There's nowhere else I'd rather be, than to be here with you.

We made love that afternoon and that night. The house was empty, sans for us. Your parents were out at work so you spent the time we had alone cherishing me in ways you had never done before. Not even when we had made love previously. It was like you had this whole new mindset, like you didn't ever want to lose me again. But that's ok because I was feeling the exact same way.

And that's when I knew for sure that I was lying when I told Sam that he was the only one who could make me smile, because when I looked up at you, propped up by your elbows above my satisfied body, I couldn't stop my lips from quirking up into a dazed smile. You smiled back as you traced your eyes all over my face, making sure you had everything stuck in your memory. And as I watched your chest expand rapidly with your breaths from the exertion you had just put your body through, I couldn't help but to do the same and keep every detail locked inside my head because this was not a memory I ever wanted to forget.

And then you kissed me and told me you loved me again and that you would do everything you possible could to make sure that smile never left my face.

According to you, I'm beautiful but you said I'm even more beautiful when I'm smiling. But did you know that every single smile, I reserve for you Santana?


End file.
